For the Second Half
Life is Short. It Gets Better.
For the Second Half
🎧 Prefer to listen? An audio version of this reflection is available below.
My grandma Opal used to love telling me a story about me. She would say, “When you were two you would tell everyone, ‘On Janooary Firty-iff, I be free.’” And all my life, when my birthday rolled around, she would retell this story and speak a wish of freedom over my life. So now, even though she hasn’t told me that story since 2009, I can feel her words wrap around me like a hug each January. A hug promising some kind of hope, a little bit more freedom and the joy that I find in growing up.
Two weeks ago that freedom date arrived. Like all birthdays, anniversaries and days we remember it showed up in the midst of really difficult news stories, and real moments of everyday life. It showed up as a reminder to celebrate life. The life I actually have.
On the night before I turned 45, I looked at Sam and told him it was hard to believe that I’m actually this old. That I’ve actually lived for F-O-R-T-Y - F-I-V-E years. It feels like no time, and it feels like so much time. And I told him, “this year is a round-up year.” I’m now closer to 50 than 40. And it feels officially like I’m in the second half of life.
Maybe I’m not yet. My Grandma Clair lived to 103. But maybe I’m well into halfway. If the losses of the last two years have taught me anything, it is that no one is promised any amount of time. Some of my friends started their second half before they turned 20. This fact is sobering, and I’m trying to let gratitude for the years I’ve had pour forth into the way I choose to live the years to come.
On Sunday, I went to Al’s 96th birthday. I asked him what wisdom he’d give to a girl like me, just starting this second half of life. Life is short, Al said. Enjoy it.
On Monday, I ate lunch with Wylene. She’s just shy of 95. I asked her to share what she thought I should know. It keeps getting better, she said. It’s hard to believe that the love I feel now gets better and better.
I keep thinking about those words as I pack for Chicago. On Saturday, I fly there for the 8th retreat for Transforming Community 20 through the Transforming Center. Retreat eight’s title, speaks right into my next half of life:
For the Sake of Others: Where Formation and Mission Meet
In the same way that I can’t believe I’ve been alive for 45 years, I’m having a hard time with the reality that this community wrapped around my life for the last two years is entering our final quarter together.
For the last two years, I’ve been adding to a prayer list. Each quarter I add something meaningful and share it with a small group of people who pray with me.
For the second half
May my ability to let desires deepen into intentionality for intimacy with God, others and myself increase
May I continue to recognize and respond to God in my ordinary everyday life with an increased awareness for discernment. Especially discerning the difference between so many good ways to be in the world and the goodness of what is actually mine to do.
May I continue to learn about and listen to my body, and to honor the needs of the bodies I am responsible to care for.
May I continue to remember and highlight all that God has already done in my life
May the exploration of mercy, flourishing and creating continue to unfold in ways that allow me to take the next step needed.
May I be intentional and aware of my journey alongside my daughters, through each age and stage
May I be an encourager for Sam’s business and leadership: TILConstruction, the continued growth, employees and serving people well.
May my leadership for Thunder Mountain Soccer generously serve families in our travel and in-house rec programs - that what we provide to children and families will be a life-giving, positive experience
May I stand and speak courageously when it is needed, and sit quietly and trust when that is needed, and especially that I would be able to recognize when to do what.